I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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