i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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