but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize