you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize