Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
