some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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