something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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