Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
