dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
