Apparently you make a good broom.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
