U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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