I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you never un-have a 4some
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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