No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
