So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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