yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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