Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
