And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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