We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
