Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
