Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
