i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
