Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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