as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize