Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
