somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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