I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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