used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
