Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You're like the curious george of whores
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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