My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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