and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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