Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
