I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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