im about as happy as oj after his trial
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
