i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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