I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
