Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
