I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
