remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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