I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
