that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
