I cockslap morals
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
