Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
