so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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