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There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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