There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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