tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You took a bar mat shot.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Still dying that you shit outside
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
