He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
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I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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