the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
