Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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