Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Pants are for mortals
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
