I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
