if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
