Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
