i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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