one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
