Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
