god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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