youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
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I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i out mim tonsoeep
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