meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
