I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
