we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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