I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
