I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize