I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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