10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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